Red sky at night
by Princess-Laurelin
Summary: Short drabbles with some Jane/Lisbon and possibly Rigsby/Grace. Some funny, some sad etc, but lots of Jisbon.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me, which is a shame really as I am in need of money. **

"Please!"

"No."

"Please."

"No Jane-I mean it." Teresa Lisbon glowered up at CBI's resident Botticelli angel hoping he would heed her angry tone and stop bugging her, he didn't.

"It doesn't hurt" he wheedled, "you won't even know it's happening."

"Jane, what part of no is so hard for you to understand?"

Jane stopped for a minute pondering the question, "I guess it's the O" he finally said, turning his two hundred watt smile on the small woman in front of him. Lisbon began to break under his grin.

"Just this once Lisbon, please." He said sensing her resolve weakening.

"Fine, I give in, just do it!" she replied throwing her hands up in the air. Jane walked off still smiling.

"Jane, where are you going? I thought you were going to hypnotise me." Lisbon called.

"I am, not now though, I'll do it when you least expect it-far more exciting that way." He shouted over his shoulder. He retreated into the kitchen and Lisbon could feel his grin through the door. She waited for five minutes for the consultant to come back but he didn't and she finally gave in. She marched back to her office, kicking his couch as hard as she could on the way. Rigsby sniggered; eleven to Jane, zero to Lisbon, not that he was counting.

Xxxxxoxxxxxoxxxxxoxxxxx

"I know a song that will get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on you nerves. I know a song..."

"Jane, I don't care how many cases you solve; if you sing one more line of that song I will not hesitate to shoot you!"

Jane grinned but kept quiet, enjoying the scenery outside the CBI vehicle. He and Lisbon had been on the road for an hour now and Jane was beginning to get bored.

"Lisbon?"

"Yes?" she asked warily not taking her eyes from the road ahead.

"I know a song that will..."

Lisbon slammed her foot down and the car screeched to an abrupt halt.

"Get out." She whispered.

"Excuse me?" Jane asked innocently, opening his blue eyes as wide as he could.

"You heard me, get out the car." She repeated.

Jane didn't move. "NOW!" she screeched and Jane leapt out the door, fearful for his safety. Lisbon sped off and within moments the car was no more than a spot on the horizon. Jane pulled out his phone and called an all too familiar number.

"Hello?"

"Cho-it's Jane."

"Yes?"

"I need a lift; Lisbon dumped me at the side of the road." Jane tried to sound apologetic but the image of Lisbon's green eyes full of passion stopped him doing it effectively.

"I'll send Rigsby, where are you?" Cho asked. Jane looked around, taking in his surroundings for the first time since the car had pulled off.

"The middle of nowhere."

"Great, we should find you in.....three days. Sit tight." Cho hung up.

Jane flopped to the ground; it was going to be a long night.

**Please review, I might write more. **


	2. Chapter 2

"Wipe off that grin Jane."

Jane feigned innocence.

"I know you've been in my office."

"My dear, I think you're hallucinating; I have been on my couch since I arrived."

"Liar, and the couch is not yours, it belongs to CBI."

"I am wounded by your assumption that I am lying Teresa."

Lisbon blushed, "Don't call me that."

"Why not? It's a beautiful name."

Lisbon blushed again as Jane turned his best smile on her. She started to stumble away from him back to her office and had made it half way before she realised he had played her.

"Jane." She shouted and Cho cowered in his seat. "I know you have my hole punch. Just give it back and I promise to make your death as painless as possible."

Jane smiled and strode over to her. He reached into her pocket making sure he was as close to her as possible and pulled out the offending item. Then he pushed her hair back behind her ear and whispered, "Silly Lisbon, it was in your pocket all along."

Lisbon snatched the hole punch and watched Jane move towards the door. He was just about to leave when she called to him.

"Jane."

"Yes?"

"Catch!"

The hole punch narrowly missed his head.

Xxxxxoxxxxxoxxxxx

"I'm sorry." He muttered.

"Why? It's not your fault."

"That's just what you say." He grasped her shoulder tightly and turned to leave.

"Jane, wait, stay." She said and the look in her eyes was so desperate he knew he couldn't have denied her anything in that moment. He returned to her side and allowed her to use him as a shield from the pain for a while. Eventually she was ready to leave. She kissed her mother's grave and left the cemetery for another year. Jane simply followed her, convinced that from then on at least once a year he could protect her from the hurt and repay everything she had done for him; and he knew that maybe with that knowledge he could sleep a bit easier, even if it was only for a night.

**Sorry about the repeat, I had a really long day! Please review even if you think I'm a bit mental. No pun intended.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A bit of Rigsby/Grace as well as Jisbon in this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine. **

"Jane, what are you doing?" Rigsby asked looking up from the case file Lisbon had given to him. The rest of the team had gone out on a routine call, leaving Jane on his couch and Rigsby manning the desk.

"Working."

"Doesn't look like work to me." Rigsby said raising his eyebrows.

"I can assure you it is. I am working very hard on my latest origami creation."

"Origami? Seriously?" Rigsby laughed.

"You should try it. It goes down very well with women."

"What makes you think I need help with women?"

"Please. I see the way you look at Van Pelt. Mooning. Sighing."

"I do not moon over Van Pelt."

"Sure, you keep telling yourself that."

"I don't."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night!"

There was a long silence.

"Can you teach me how to make a swan?"

"A swan?" Jane asked.

"It's Grace's favourite animal."

"Sure."

Two hours, and three hundred pieces of paper later Rigsby held a perfect white paper swan in his hands.

"Do you think she'll like it?" Rigsby asked quietly as Grace re-entered the office and approached the two men.

"I'm sure she will."

"Grace, I've made you something." Rigsby muttered nervously. Jane tried hard not to laugh at how frightened Rigsby sounded. Grace smiled as Rigsby placed the swan in her hands.

"Thankyou, it's beautiful." She kissed his cheek and Cho snorted. Lisbon appeared behind Rigsby.

"This is what you spent your afternoon doing? Origami?" She asked and it wasn't hard to hear the disapproving tone in her voice. Jane smiled.

"Don't be jealous Lisbon." He said.

"I'm not."

"Sure."

Lisbon sighed knowing she couldn't win against Jane while he was in this mood. She stomped off to her office only to reappear a minute later.

"How many are there?" she asked. Jane moved over to her door and smiled at the row of swans he had put on her desk.

"About thirty I think."

"Wow."

"I'm glad you like it." Jane turned away.

"Thank you Jane." she whispered. Jane only smiled and thanked his lucky stars for the hundredth time that day that he had found Teresa Lisbon.

**Please review. I'll love you if you do.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Not mine. **

It was raining. The entire city was being cleansed of its sins and Jane was grateful because it meant that for once he could concentrate on Lisbon and not death and destruction. She was looking very pretty. Her hair hung loose around her shoulders, slightly damp from her sprint from the car to the building and her eyes were sparkling brightly. Jane examined her very closely trying to take in as much of her beauty as he could in one look. She was working on something difficult, he could tell from the way her eyebrows were pulled down into a frown and the way she chewed on her pen lid. It was adorable and utterly distracting. Jane sighed causing Cho to look up; Cho took a long hard look at Jane and then went back to his work seemingly deciding Jane wasn't actually doing anything dangerous. For once. Jane sighed again, a little louder this time. Lisbon looked up.

"What is it Jane?"

"Oh nothing."

"Could you stop sighing then please? Some of us have work to do."

"I'm working." He replied defensively.

"On what?"

"I'm observing a suspect in a case." He said smirking. Lisbon frowned at him.

"What case?"

"Never you mind." Jane said cryptically.

Lisbon went back to her work but Jane could tell her heart was no longer in it. He would give her ten seconds before she demanded to know what he was talking about. 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1.

"What case?" she repeated looking at him closely.

Jane just tapped his nose and closed his eyes. Lisbon frowned at him across the table but upon realising he wasn't going to tell her she did the only reasonable thing she could think of. She quietly rose to her feet and tiptoed around the table to the "sleeping" Jane. Before he knew what had hit him Lisbon had pulled his chair out from underneath him and tipped him onto the floor of the bullpen.

"What case Jane?" she asked again looking down at his stunned face.

Jane ignored Rigsby and Van Pelt's laughter and leapt to his feet. He faced his angry boss.

"Say please."

Lisbon rolled her eyes.

"Say it Lisbon." Jane whispered.

"Please."

Before Lisbon could protest Jane had taken her elbow and steered her across the room towards the mirror on the wall of her office.

"Beautiful isn't she?" he said.

Lisbon opened her mouth to protest but found herself speechless.

"Very funny Jane. Now please can I go back to my work?"

"I was being deadly serious, Teresa. You look beautiful today."

Lisbon blushed and walked out the room as fast as her legs could carry her. Jane grinned to himself; one blush already and it wasn't even eleven o'clock. Today was going to be fun, thank goodness for the rain.

**Author's note: Hi, just a couple more of these I think but please review so I know how I'm doing. I'd like to say hi and thanks to Jisbonygoodness because she's my new favourite person!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Not mine. **

"Where's my computer?"

"Jane's got it." Cho called over to Lisbon.

"Why? He hates computers."

"He said he wanted it for an experiment."

"An experiment? You let him take my computer for an experiment?" Lisbon stared at Cho in disbelief.

"What's the worst he can do?" Cho asked.

"Crash it, smash it, blow it up...." Lisbon would have continued with her list had a certain blond haired consultant not entered the bull pen. He was empty-handed. "Jane, where's my computer?"

"I borrowed it for an experiment."

"I know that, where is it now?" Lisbon enquired tensely through her gritted teeth.

"Don't worry, you'll get it back." Jane smirked.

"When?"

"Soon. You just have to be patient."

Lisbon rolled her eyes.

Xxxxx

Two hours later and Lisbon's computer was still missing. She was beginning to get irritated; she had files piling up and nothing to do other than complete them. Plus it had been seventeen hours since she had last played solitaire. Finally she stormed out her office and tapped her sleeping consultant on the shoulder, hard.

"Jane, where in the world is my computer?"

"Calm down Lisbon, some of us are trying to sleep." He replied faking a yawn.

"Don't give me that crap Jane. You steal my couch, you steal my stapler and now you steal my computer. I'm sick of it. If that computer isn't back on my desk by 6 o'clock tonight, I will actually kill you. Stop smirking, I mean it." Lisbon walked off angrily.

"I think she's serious Jane." Cho said not even looking up from his case file.

"I know. I'll return it." Jane said between bursts of laughter.

Xxxxx

An hour later and Jane knocked on Lisbon's door.

"Come in Jane." Lisbon shouted.

Jane entered bearing her computer; he didn't even look apologetic Lisbon noticed trying to stop herself from throwing something heavy at his head.

"It's still in one piece, that's amazing." She remarked sarcastically instead. Jane grinned, knowing he had already been forgiven and he hadn't even said sorry yet. "So, did you find out anything useful from this experiment of yours?"

"Yes actually." Jane said, moving towards the door, "You can only go seventeen hours without playing solitaire Lisbon." He ran out the door as quickly as possible leaving Lisbon staring angrily at the spot where he had stood. She heard him chuckling all the way down the corridor and before she could think about what she was saying she heard herself yell. "Jane, this is war!"

**Author's note: Umm, review. Please. Please. Please. **


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: Not mine. **

Rigsby was getting annoyed. Really annoyed. Lisbon and Jane had been fighting for a week now and sadly they showed no signs of stopping. He would not have minded this normally, but for two days running Jane had used all the food in the fridge to stuff Lisbon's drawers and when she had found it she had thrown it at Jane. This meant Rigsby was annoyed, and hungry, and this was not a good combination. So he had decided to take matters into his own hands. He knew he would probably end up suspended but to be frank he thought he would be far better off at home with a full stomach than at work with an empty one and a boss that was acting like a four year old. He had respected Lisbon until last week but now! She had locked Jane in a toilet, handcuffed him and kidnapped his couch; it was all beyond a joke.

Xxxxx

Van Pelt could not take anymore. The fight between Lisbon and Jane had gone on far too long and now she was beginning to suffer. Rigsby did nothing but moan all day long about his stomach and she had had enough. The final straw had been when she had walked into the toilet to find Jane cuffed to it. It had nearly given her a heart attack. So she was taking matters into her own hands and ending it.

Xxxxx

Cho wanted to kill himself. For over a week he had been leading the team due to Lisbon's apparent mental breakdown and lust for revenge on Jane. He had pleaded with her to stop and surrender but she was stubborn and wouldn't listen to him; so finally he had come up with a plan to end it once and for all.

Xxxxx

"Jane, I can't open the door."

"What?"

"The door, it's locked." Lisbon said.

"And it's going to stay that way until you two sort this out!" Rigsby shouted through the pane of glass.

"We're putting our foot down." Van Pelt added.

"Come on, open the door Cho." Lisbon shouted glaring at her team through the glass.

"No can do Boss!" Cho replied.

There was silence for a long time.

"Fine, we'll stop, just let us out." Jane pleaded.

Cho, Rigsby and Van Pelt conferred and after a moment the door opened. Jane and Lisbon stalked out, both holding their heads as high as they possibly could. They kept true to their word. They didn't fight at all that day, nor the next, nor the next; it wasn't until four days later that Jane finally approached Lisbon.

"You know we need revenge on them." He whispered quietly, hoping that Rigsby who was closest couldn't hear.

"What do you have in mind?" Lisbon asked, and thus began an entirely new war.

**Note: I would quite like the names for three children. Two girls, one boy. Please review!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: Unless I've suddenly become a man these things don't belong to me!**

"Isn't she beautiful?" Jane asked.

"She certainly is." Van Pelt replied, gazing at the object of Jane's affection admiringly.

"What's her name?"

"Alice." The blond haired consultant sighed adoringly.

"She's not as beautiful as Mandy." Rigsby added under his breath.

"There's no need to be jealous Rigsby, it's not a competition." Van Pelt said linking her arm through his.

"We could make it one though."

"I'm interested." Jane replied raising an eyebrow.

"A race, once around the block."

"What's in it for me?" Jane asked.

"If I win you pay for dinner tonight, if you win I'll pay."

"I'm in." Jane leapt off the bonnet of his new yellow Porsche and into the driver's seat.

"I'm not sure this is a good idea. Lisbon..." Van Pelt began.

"What Lisbon doesn't know won't hurt her."

"I'm more worried about her hurting us." Van Pelt muttered.

"Who's afraid of the big bad agent?" Jane mocked.

"I'm not afraid, I'm petrified." Van Pelt said as Rigsby slipped into his car. "If I get suspended because of you two I will personally cut some vital body parts off." She continued as the cars roared out the CBI car park and into the open road.

Xoxo

Ten minutes later Rigsby's car reappeared at the gates, he was laughing.

"Where's Jane?"

"He had a bit of a run in with the law." Rigsby managed to choke out between bursts of laughter.

"WHAT?"

"Speeding on the high street. You should have seen his face."

"His face? You're worried about his face? Can you imagine Lisbon's face when she finds out?"

Luckily for van Pelt she didn't have to imagine for long.

Xoxo

"Speeding Jane, really?" Lisbon shouted angrily.

"I wasn't going that fast." The blond consultant attempted to defend himself in vain.

"50 in a 30mph zone according to this ticket."

Jane tried to look abashed and failed miserably.

"What can possibly be worth that speed?" Lisbon demanded.

"A free meal on Rigsby." Jane replied meekly.

"A free meal, you nearly crashed our new car for a free meal?" Lisbon shrieked.

"Alice is fine."

"Who the hell's Alice?" Lisbon screamed in a tone so high pitched Jane was surprised a pack of dogs didn't come running.

"The car."

"You named our car?"

"I thought it was a nice name."

"I am going to count to five Jane, and I want you to be out of my sight by then. I knew I should have listened to Minelli when he told me to reconsider marrying you."

"He said that?"

"1, 2, 3.."

Jane ran, not bothering to grab his jacket on the way out. He had been on the wrong end of Lisbon's anger before and it hurt; he had no intention of experiencing it again. He was followed by gales of laughter from the team. He smirked, what they didn't know was they had a physical test that afternoon and with Lisbon in an atrocious mood there was no way any of them were making it to dinner anyway. Jane laughed aloud as he climbed into Alice; mission avoid physical test, complete!

**Author's note: Yay, another chapter completed. Only a few more to go! Please review! xoxo**


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